Unicorn Bites 2/22/14
A Girl Scout made headlines when she sold cookies outside a Colorado pot shop. There’s no word on how she plans to spend her first million. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 22, 2014 Me: Sex? […]
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Unicorn Bites 2/21/14
What my kids use as a trampoline: 1) the couch 2) the bed 3) me if I lie down What they don’t use as a trampoline: 1) our trampoline — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 21, […]
Unicorn Bites 2/16/14
Wife: *cleans like crazy* Me: Calm down. It’s my mom coming over, not the pope. *my mom walks in with the pope* Wife: Mother fucker… — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 16, 2014 My 1-year-old figured […]