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14 May, 2026
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“We changed the Terms & Conditions of the Trump Mobile Phone from “Made in the USA” to “Made up in the USA” and “refundable deposit” to “Later, losers.” This happened due to an unforeseen arrangement of words and is Biden’s fault. Instead of Siri, you get Stephen Miller and you can only text in CAPS. It also comes with 12 free pardons and “Biden’s Fault” wallpapers and ringtones.” – Donald Trump, maybe…
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Author: Roz Warren

Roz Warren, who writes for everyone from The New York Times to The Funny Times, is the author of Our Bodies, Our Shelves: Library Humor and Just Another Day At Your Local Public Library: An Insider's Tales of Library Life, which make terrific gifts for your favorite librarian or other bookish person.

The Wisdom of the Zen Grandma

September 19, 2025September 19, 2025 Roz Warren

After showing me photos of her adorable one-year-old granddaughter over coffee recently, a fellow grandma got down to business; complaining about her son and daughter-in law’s parenting. “Sadie isn’t allowed to eat any junk food,” […]

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2 CommentsHO Author News, Lifestylefunny, grandkids, grandparents, humor, humoroutcasts, parents, Roz Warren

September is “Spiders are Going to Get Into Your House” Month. There’s Probably One Watching You Right Now!

September 7, 2025September 7, 2025 Roz Warren

  There are spiders in your house year-round, of course, but September is the month when the greatest number of spiders will make their way into your house. Why? It’s getting colder out and they’re […]

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Everyday Life, Good Clean Funhumor, insects, September, spiders

Mind Control Improved My Life! Let Me Share My Mind Control Secrets With You!

February 8, 2021 Roz Warren

Ha ha. Sucker. You clicked the link. I made you click that link with my awesome powers of mind control! You had no idea that I was capable of doing that. But now you’re here. […]

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2 CommentsFictionfunny, humor, mind control, wombat poop cubes, wombats

20 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Read Listicles

August 25, 2020 Roz Warren

Research has proved that reading Listicles will give you brain cancer. Actually, that’s not true. I just made it up. But it could be true. Listicles don’t have to tell the truth. It’s not as […]

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1 CommentEveryday Lifefunny, humor, humor Funny, Listicles

Welcome to Library Work!

April 28, 2020 Roz Warren

The week I started working at my suburban Philadelphia library, a scruffy-looking man in his twenties sauntered up to the circulation desk wearing a SHOW ME YOUR BOOBS T shirt. Although we librarians are expected […]

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Everyday Lifehumor, librarians, libraries, Our Bodies, Our Shelves, workplace humor

Men in Trees!

April 27, 2020 Roz Warren

I first acquired an appreciation of tree guys over a decade ago when my neighbors warned me that the ailing birch in my backyard needed to be cut down before it came down itself. On […]

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2 CommentsEveryday Lifearborists, hobbies, humor, trees

Library Patrons! Please Obey the Distance Police.

April 24, 2020 Roz Warren

The library where I work is closed and we’re all working from  home. But our bosses already discussing what will happen when we reopen. How will we get our patrons to stay the recommended 6 […]

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3 CommentsEveryday Lifehumor, library, pandemic, social distancing

What if Beatles Songs Were About the Pandemic?

April 22, 2020 Roz Warren

We might have songs like: Help! I Need Some Toilet Paper! All You Need is Hand Sanitizer Can’t Buy Me Lysol Wipes Eight Zoom Meetings a Week She’s Leaving Home to Go to The Grocery […]

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1 CommentEveryday LifeBeatles, covid-19, humor, music, pandemic, song parody

Why You Should Drop Everything and Buy a Copy of OUR BODIES, OUR SHELVES: A COLLECTION OF LIBRARY HUMOR

April 17, 2020 Roz Warren

Our Bodies our Shelves is my collection of humorous essays about library life. It got terrific reviews, even though you’ve never heard of it. How many terrific reviews? Thirty excellent reviews on Amazon and over […]

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2 CommentsEveryday Lifebooks, humor, librarians, libraries, self promotion

What Did I Learn at the Last Zoom Meeting?

April 15, 2020 Roz Warren
cat

The library I work for is closed and all of us are working from home. So what did I learn from the library-system-wide Zoom meeting I was recently required to attend? Well, I now know […]

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Everyday Lifecats, humor, working from home, Zoom

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