What if Beatles Songs Were About the Pandemic?

We might have songs like:

Help! I Need Some Toilet Paper!

All You Need is Hand Sanitizer

Can’t Buy Me Lysol Wipes

Eight Zoom Meetings a Week

She’s Leaving Home to Go to The Grocery Store But She’ll Be Wearing a Mask and Gloves So It’s Okay

I Don’t Want to Hold Your Hand

With a Little Social Distancing From My Friends

All Together Now (In One Tiny Apartment and We’re Driving Each Other Nuts)

You’ve Got To Hide Your Chocolate Stash Away (Or I’ll Find It and Eat It All)

I Should Have Known Better Than to Go to the Bank Without Wearing A Mask

The Long and Winding Zoom Meeting

P.S. I Love Being Able To Get Out Of The House To Walk The Dog

Got To Get You Into My Safe Quarantine Space

I’ve Just Seen a Face Wearing a Mask Thank God Because I Totally Don’t Want to Catch This Thing

While My Stock Market Portfolio Gently Plummets

I Saw Her Standing There (But I Had To Maintain an Appropriate Physical Distance So I Couldn’t Talk To Her.)

Do You Want to Know A Secret? I Just Had a Zoom Meeting With My Boss and I Wasn’t Wearing Any Pants.

I Don’t Want To Spoil the Party So I’ll Stay Home and Not Infect Anybody

Twist and Cough

Baby You Can Take My Temperature

Here Comes the Ventilator

Intubate Me Do

Happiness is a Warm Coronavirus Vaccine. Or a Cold One. Just Somebody Figure Out How to Stop this Thing, Please?

I’m Happy Just To Dance With You Inside Our Tiny Apartment and Patiently Wait For All of This To Be Over

(Roz Warren is the author of two collections of library and book-related humor, Our Bodies, Our Shelves: A Collection of Library Humor, and Just Another Day At Your Local Public Library, both of which would make great gifts for your favorite librarian or other bookish friend.)

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