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Author: Roz Warren

Roz Warren, who writes for everyone from The New York Times to The Funny Times, is the author of Our Bodies, Our Shelves: Library Humor and Just Another Day At Your Local Public Library: An Insider's Tales of Library Life, which make terrific gifts for your favorite librarian or other bookish person.

“Where Do You Keep The Books I Can’t Find?” And Other Quirky Questions People Ask Librarians

April 10, 2020April 10, 2020 Roz Warren

One of the joys of working at a library is that we never know what our patrons will ask us next. Here’s a brief sampling of unusual, quirky or offbeat questions that people have recently […]

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1 CommentEveryday Lifehumor, librarians, library life, workplace humor

Introducing Librarian Barbie! (Now With Special Eye-Rolling Function)

April 7, 2020 Roz Warren

Mattel just rolled out a bunch of new Barbies in a variety of shapes, sizes, colors and abilities, so that everyone who wants to play with a Barbie can have one who is just like […]

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1 CommentEveryday Lifebarbie, humor, librarian, workplace humor

Sex on a Plane? No Thanks, I’ve Got Important Knitting To Do

March 13, 2020 Roz Warren

I fly a lot. There’s nothing sexy about it. And yet, according to one survey, 9% of Americans claim to have had a sexual encounter in an airplane seat, 17% in the airplane bathroom, 5% […]

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4 CommentsEveryday Lifeflying, humor, Mile-High Club, Sex, Travel

In the Jungle, the Mighty Jungle, the Giraffes Hum Tonight

March 8, 2020March 9, 2020 Roz Warren

I once read in Time Magazine that giraffes, who were always thought to be silent animals, actually hum to each other at night. Time didn’t tell us what giraffes hum to each other at night. […]

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2 CommentsEveryday Lifeanimals, Giraffes, humor, music

Five Things I’m Doing to Prepare for the Coronavirus (Including Playing the Piano with Very Clean Hands)

March 2, 2020March 2, 2020 Roz Warren

I Am Washing My Hands. Constantly. Like Every Five Minutes. Apparently, frequent hand-washing is one of the only things you can actually do to avoid getting sick. Accordingly, my survival plan is to wash my hands […]

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8 CommentsEveryday Lifecoronavirus, hand washing, health, humor, pandemic

Do You Have a Copy of “Henry Winkler and the Chocolate Factory?” (The Crazy, Mixed-Up Book Titles People Ask Librarians For)

February 22, 2020 Roz Warren

Part of a librarian’s job is helping people find a book that they’ve read or heard about. But sometimes our patrons get the title wrong. For instance? The woman who came to the library asking […]

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1 CommentEveryday Lifebooks, funny, humor, librarians, libraries

Are You Tough Enough to Work in a Library?

February 19, 2020February 19, 2020 Roz Warren

Do you  have what it takes for library work? Let’s see if you can read this list of things found in library books or book drops without gasping, flinching, or hollering, “Holy Shit!” (I couldn’t. […]

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2 CommentsEveryday Lifebooks, humor, libraries, library

It’s a Good Thing I Have a Dog. Otherwise I’d Be Talking to Myself

February 13, 2020 Roz Warren

One of the best things about having a dog is that you always have someone to talk to. I’m not a crazy old lady talking to herself. I’m a crazy old lady talking to a […]

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4 CommentsFiction

Your Cat Doesn’t Belong on the Dining Room Table — But There He Is Anyway

February 7, 2020February 7, 2020 Roz Warren

(Photo by Paul Hanaoka on Unsplash)   I’m eating at my friend Amy’s house when one of her cats leaps up onto the dining room table and begins sauntering across its surface, heading toward my […]

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1 CommentEveryday Lifecats, humor, manners, pets

Valentine’s Day — Say It With Chickens!

February 11, 2019 Roz Warren

At some point in the relationship, every man I’ve ever gone out with has looked at me sadly and concluded “You aren’t very romantic, are you?” I am not. I am loving and funny and […]

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4 CommentsEveryday Lifechickens, Heifer International, romance, valentines day

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