Introducing Librarian Barbie! (Now With Special Eye-Rolling Function)

Mattel just rolled out a bunch of new Barbies in a variety of shapes, sizes, colors and abilities, so that everyone who wants to play with a Barbie can have one who is just like them! This inspired me to ask my librarian pals, “If there were a Librarian Barbie who was just like you, what would they be like?”

Here’s what they came up with:

Constantly Humming Songs from Story Time Barbie.

I Can Find Anything Barbie

It Was Not In That Condition When You Checked It Out Barbie

Born to Shelve Barbie

Your Account is Blocked Barbie

Old Enough To Be My Co-worker’s Mother Barbie

Been Here Forever and I Still Love My Job Barbie

No, I Haven’t Read Every Book in the Library Barbie

Fixing the Printer is my Superpower Barbie

Don’t Mess with Me I Have a Library Degree Barbie

Permanently Exhausted Barbie. (Comes with a mug of coffee and a little pot of eye cream that will never do anything to help those eye bags.)

Soft-hearted Fine-Waiving Barbie

How Soon Until Retirement Barbie

Can’t Shelve Without Singing the Alphabet Song Quietly To Herself Barbie

I Can Perform Miracles With An Ever-shrinking Budget Barbie

Trying to Be Useful and Helpful but Today I Really Just Want to Be on a Beach in Aruba Barbie

If you work in a library and don’t see yourself on this list? Please share your own Library Barbie idea in the Comments Section.

( Roz Warren is the author of two collections of library and book-related humor, Our Bodies, Our Shelves: A Collection of Library Humor, and Just Another Day At Your Local Public Library, both of which would make great gifts for your favorite librarian or other bookish friend.)



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