Stories from the Cat House

My wife and I run a cat house. We take in girls – and boys – who were living on the streets and require them to do tricks in exchange for room and board. We’re […]
My wife and I run a cat house. We take in girls – and boys – who were living on the streets and require them to do tricks in exchange for room and board. We’re […]
DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed below in no way correspond to the opinions of the human who typed this. I typed it because I am the only creature in the house who has opposable thumbs. Furniture […]
Deer are so common in Indiana that sometimes we forget they were once wiped out in the state. Now they’re back, wiping out cars instead, so you really don’t have to try to hard to […]
We’ve been having problems with Bae getting into stuff on the kitchen counters when we’re gone. (Where does an 85 pound dog go? Anywhere above about five feet.) That’s why, for instance, the bread is […]
My name is Harmony and I am a cat. Now that we have established that, I’ll get to the point. There is a two-legged, mostly hairless creature who lives in my house. I call her […]
Cats can see ghosts. This is obvious to anyone who has ever watched a cat stare at a wall on which we can see nothing. This morning I went to an AMC Loews theater and […]
The day after my sinus surgery, I woke up to find a dog lying on my chest. “Are you worried about me?” I rasped out. “Not exactly,” Bae replied. I hadn’t actually expected a reply. […]
SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK My war with mice has gone on for decades. Like the zombie apocalypse, I keep killing ‘em off, and they keep coming back. Except zombies don’t like peanut butter. I […]
See the ducks wait for Paul to feed them. See the ravenous ducks charge Paul. See the rabid ducks chase Paul out of the park. – Paul De Lancey, Friend […]