Future News?

This week has been something of an interesting week, with lots of major events to reflect on. But what does the future have in store for us? I just so happen to have the headlines for the latest, breaking “Future News”…



Next week:  Your parents will still be pissed at you for accidentally ‘outing’ your brother at Thanksgiving dinner.

One week from today:  You’ll be up at 3 AM, waiting in the cold, so your wife can get a dollar off on two toasters.

Four months from now:  While hosting the Oscars, Billy Crystal will wow, and amaze with his ability to… look JUST like your grandma.

Six months from now:  An LA school will once again come under fire, for allowing a porn star to read to students, when they mistakenly bring in Lindsay Lohan.

On this day in the year 2012:  The Penn State sex scandal will fade away, leaving residents of Pennsylvania to focus on the state’s other horrific sports tragedy:  The Philadelphia Eagles.

On this date in the year 2012:  The NBA will finally be back.  But no one will care.

On this day in the year 2013:  That man who shot a bullet into the White House will get his own show on Fox News.

On this date in 2021:  That annoying ‘hipster’ guy in your office will still be talking about how much NBC sucks for cancelling “Community”.

On this day in the year 2056:  There’ll be a nuclear attack and the only survivors will be cockroaches, and…Kardashians.

Share this Post:

3 thoughts on “Future News?”

Comments are closed.