This week has been something of an interesting week, with lots of major events to reflect on. But what does the future have in store for us? I just so happen to have the headlines for the latest, breaking “Future News”…
Next week: Your parents will still be pissed at you for accidentally ‘outing’ your brother at Thanksgiving dinner.
One week from today: You’ll be up at 3 AM, waiting in the cold, so your wife can get a dollar off on two toasters.
Four months from now: While hosting the Oscars, Billy Crystal will wow, and amaze with his ability to… look JUST like your grandma.
Six months from now: An LA school will once again come under fire, for allowing a porn star to read to students, when they mistakenly bring in Lindsay Lohan.
On this day in the year 2012: The Penn State sex scandal will fade away, leaving residents of Pennsylvania to focus on the state’s other horrific sports tragedy: The Philadelphia Eagles.
On this date in the year 2012: The NBA will finally be back. But no one will care.
On this day in the year 2013: That man who shot a bullet into the White House will get his own show on Fox News.
On this date in 2021: That annoying ‘hipster’ guy in your office will still be talking about how much NBC sucks for cancelling “Community”.
On this day in the year 2056: There’ll be a nuclear attack and the only survivors will be cockroaches, and…Kardashians.