Future News? | HumorOutcasts

Future News?

November 20, 2011

This week has been something of an interesting week, with lots of major events to reflect on. But what does the future have in store for us? I just so happen to have the headlines for the latest, breaking “Future News”…



Next week:  Your parents will still be pissed at you for accidentally ‘outing’ your brother at Thanksgiving dinner.

One week from today:  You’ll be up at 3 AM, waiting in the cold, so your wife can get a dollar off on two toasters.

Four months from now:  While hosting the Oscars, Billy Crystal will wow, and amaze with his ability to… look JUST like your grandma.

Six months from now:  An LA school will once again come under fire, for allowing a porn star to read to students, when they mistakenly bring in Lindsay Lohan.

On this day in the year 2012:  The Penn State sex scandal will fade away, leaving residents of Pennsylvania to focus on the state’s other horrific sports tragedy:  The Philadelphia Eagles.

On this date in the year 2012:  The NBA will finally be back.  But no one will care.

On this day in the year 2013:  That man who shot a bullet into the White House will get his own show on Fox News.

On this date in 2021:  That annoying ‘hipster’ guy in your office will still be talking about how much NBC sucks for cancelling “Community”.

On this day in the year 2056:  There’ll be a nuclear attack and the only survivors will be cockroaches, and…Kardashians.

Neal Mayhem

Radio idiot, b-o-o-b lover, disgust causer

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3 Responses to Future News?

  1. lbwoodgate
    November 21, 2011 at 9:44 am

    These are not only clever but the may be very accurate

    • November 22, 2011 at 8:57 am

      thank you sir

  2. November 20, 2011 at 10:41 pm

    HA HA! I can see the would be assassin on Fox News. And even now I could care about the NBA. This entire piece was very funny.

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