Future News? | HumorOutcasts

Future News?

November 20, 2011
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This week has been something of an interesting week, with lots of major events to reflect on. But what does the future have in store for us? I just so happen to have the headlines for the latest, breaking “Future News”…

 

 

Next week:  Your parents will still be pissed at you for accidentally ‘outing’ your brother at Thanksgiving dinner.

One week from today:  You’ll be up at 3 AM, waiting in the cold, so your wife can get a dollar off on two toasters.

Four months from now:  While hosting the Oscars, Billy Crystal will wow, and amaze with his ability to… look JUST like your grandma.

Six months from now:  An LA school will once again come under fire, for allowing a porn star to read to students, when they mistakenly bring in Lindsay Lohan.

On this day in the year 2012:  The Penn State sex scandal will fade away, leaving residents of Pennsylvania to focus on the state’s other horrific sports tragedy:  The Philadelphia Eagles.

On this date in the year 2012:  The NBA will finally be back.  But no one will care.

On this day in the year 2013:  That man who shot a bullet into the White House will get his own show on Fox News.

On this date in 2021:  That annoying ‘hipster’ guy in your office will still be talking about how much NBC sucks for cancelling “Community”.

On this day in the year 2056:  There’ll be a nuclear attack and the only survivors will be cockroaches, and…Kardashians.

Neal Mayhem

Radio idiot, b-o-o-b lover, disgust causer

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3 Responses to Future News?

  1. lbwoodgate
    November 21, 2011 at 9:44 am

    These are not only clever but the may be very accurate

    • November 22, 2011 at 8:57 am

      thank you sir

  2. November 20, 2011 at 10:41 pm

    HA HA! I can see the would be assassin on Fox News. And even now I could care about the NBA. This entire piece was very funny.



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