Once again, the end-of-the-world talk is making the news. But this time, instead of December 21, 2012 being the day when we all cease to be, one guy, who is another one claiming to have God’s plan in his hands, has moved the date to May 21st of this year. Actually, from what I read, May 21st is the Day of Judgment and October 21st is the end. Either way, I still get my birthday presents, so I’m okay. You can read about this new prognostication here ( http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/may21/)
This new mouthpiece for the Almighty is looking to bible verses for proof. Is he right? Who knows? Sometime, somewhere someone has to be right. The over-the-top zealots of the religious world have been predicting the end of the world for centuries and all of them claim they got the straight dope from the Big Kahuna himself. So, either God has a really twisted sense of humor or these people are delusional and/or looking for their 15 minutes of fame which is about all they will get if they are right and the world ends.
But just in case I am following the doomsday preacher on twitter. Yep, you can tweet with him as the world ends. I’m not sure who will be up to tweeting at that point, but it’s nice to know social media will be around to the end. That sort of shoots down the argument that it is all a fad. And in case you were wondering, you can still make a financial gift to his ministry. He is keeping the donations door open even though the end of the world is upon us.
Anyway, I have a plan for the end. It’s not a fancy plan, but it’s a plan. My plan is that I go out on my front porch and walk into whatever is wiping out the planet. Honestly, I have no desire to stay behind and survive. I do not have that “let me re-create the world” survivor instinct nor do I want to be left behind with some religious fanatics who think they are the ones who get to rule the world.
Truthfully, I don’t think anyone would think it important for me to remain on Earth anyway. Let’s face it: I don’t have kick ass ovaries anymore which will be needed to re-populate the world, so my stock value in the whole rebuilding the planet scenario is minimal at best. I also do not possess the survivor skills one might need in this doomsday environment. I am not even a good camper. I failed that badge in the Girl Scouts. I cannot imagine how bad I would be at digging through obliterated cities looking for morsels of food and clean water. I am not a pampered princess, but I do need some basic necessities to live: food, water, soft toilet paper, an internet connection and caffeine.
If these necessities are not going to be available, I might as well run into the explosion or whatever is coming and kiss this life goodbye. If there is an afterlife, I hope someone is ready to beam me up because I would think whatever is after this is a lot better than living on a decimated planet where I might have to chew open cans of beans or cat food in order to survive.
I have theories on the end of the world stuff floating around. I think the people, who think it is happening in May, took major advantage of “National Smoke Pot” day in April. Or if they didn’t get high, I think they are just very bored people whose only excitement in life comes from instilling fear and panic in others.
If you are on the doomsday team who believes the world is ending in December 2012 when the Mayan calendar ends, I have a theory about this too. I think that the Mayan priests and scholars just stopped keeping track. Maybe they got bored of working out the calendar for so many centuries ahead. Maybe, they decided to take a coffee break or vacation and never went back to finishing it. They were men and men are not the greatest multi-taskers. Or just maybe one priest said to the other,
“We went through most of 2012. That’s enough. Who is even going to remember us by then? I am sure they will have a more sophisticated method of timekeeping by the time that date rolls around. They can finish the calendar themselves. Let’s go get a pina colada.”
Who knows what will be? The thing is we waste so much time worrying about stuff that might never become a factor in our lives. Our job on this planet, now, is to take care of each other and make our present lives better so that our children’s lives will be better and so on. Maybe the end of the world is around the corner or maybe there isn’t an end.
We cannot control what happens in a few weeks or in December of 2012 or even tomorrow. We are guaranteed today, so find your joy, live your life and learn to laugh. The rest is out of our hands.
photo by tresdesolay