You’ve heard about the notion that pets tend to take on the looks of their owners. Well some people have taken it a step further and anthropomorphised their feelings and attitudes onto their pets.
In a piece by Tara Kelly in the Huffington Post we discover that there are those owners who spend millions on changing the appearance of their pet to ‘improve a dog or cat’s quality life.” This includes of course the need to make physical changes to a pet that suffers physically but for some owners, it’s all about the animal’s self esteem.
Take for example the image enhancer for male pets called the Neuticle implant. It’s “fake, bean-shaped testicles made out of solid silicone, which come in a range of sizes for the neutered dog to maintain pride and self-esteem.” It’s not a bad idea I suppose if you make the switch at the time you neuter your pet but do dogs really lose their self-esteem with or without the real Mccoy?
I can hear Fido complaining now. “Hey! You with only two legs to get around on. Do you really think when I’m licking down there I am stroking my ego. I’m stroking something but it ain’t my ego. I think I’ve heard the deep-voiced one refer to it as ‘spanking the monkey’. I don’t know what this self-esteem things is you think I’ve lost when you’ve removed my balls. My only thoughts after this has happened is “what the hell did they ever do to you’?”.
I’ve had pets all my life, mainly dogs and I can’t recall any of them ever spending time primping themselves or admiring themselves in mirrors. Animals may have a sense of themselves as it relates to other animals but for some humans to automatically assume it is line with how homo sapiens see each other is the height of narcissism.
Take some advice from Fido. “Get a life you bi-pedal twit. I’m a freaking canine. Give me a place to lick my ass and wide open spaces to run until I drop and I’ll be as happy as the lady who spends all day in front of that reflector glass painting herself, maybe happier. Why she wades through a room fool of secondary skins she calls clothes to impress the male member of your species, I don’t know. All he wants to do to her is what I do to myself to relieve a little tension.”
“Oh Yeah. Could you clean my water bowl out every now and then. If you really cared about my self-esteem you wouldn’t force me to drink from where you’se guys relieve yourself”
This brought to mind last Sunday’s evening formation. The husbands were getting yelled at by SGT while us wives were enjoying the shade. I spotted a lady dressed to the nines in black and white, she had coordinated her young son’s outfit to match hers. And of course, she had a little dog, also in black and white. I was minding my own business until I overheard her say to another wife “Yeah, I decided to bring my dog today because he matches our colors”. It took a lot for me to NOT ask her if she had a single digit IQ.
I can honestly say that I am blessed that I never looked like my dogs or my cats, although I have had some pretty nice looking cats and I wouldn’t mind looking like Catwoman.
I am content to let my pets live out their lives as the animals they are. I love my pets, and I spend enough money on toys, cat litter, food and vet bills. If they look goofy, that’s okay with me and they don’t give a damn, anyway.
Please, please, please don’t tell me that you paint their claws with toe nail polish or put scarfs and sweaters on them. 🙂
I saw this on the Huffington Post too. I love the picture of the bull dog and his owner. I could get a bull dog. We both have the same fat faces. Funny post, Larry – What pets have to go through for their owners. I do worry about people 🙂
It’s either feast or famine with some of our species toward felines and canines. Too mothering or to abusive.
I used to live up the street from a man who I would often see walking his dog. The man was pudgy and jowly. So was the dog (who looked like some kind of German Shepherd/Bulldog mix). It was absolutely comical to see them walking down the street together.
This was good, it is amazing how often dogs look like their owners and what people would do to keep their dogs esteem up. The first time I had ever heard of neuticles was right hear on this site not long after the site first went up.
Thanks Ted. I honestly hadn’t heard about this implant until I read the HuffPo piece
I guess they are becoming all the rage. Who would have guessed. 🙂
Honestly, L.B, I think this topic can be written about again and again because there are limitless numbers of spins. Although, the neuticles founder wrote to me because one of my links went to neuticals.com and that is major porn. Oops! See what typos do! 🙂
Some people have too much free time on their hands. Maybe they want their pets to be as neurotic as them. 🙂
Agreed.