Breathing New Life to Life Alert

I caught another  ”I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” Life Alert® commercial.  The commercial has been on for years, but lately I noticed that the “stars” of the commercial are getting younger. No longer  is the target audience the elderly who are alone in their homes.  Now, the commercials include middle-aged people or even younger.  There is even one commercial where a woman who looks as if she is in her thirties, presses her Life Alert button because she is in a dark garage and is afraid that someone is following her.  So, now Life Alert is a  bodyguard too.

Honestly, I don’t fault Life Alert for expanding their demographic.  Safety, security and fear are big time businesses, and we all want to feel secure. But I do have some ideas for Life Alert about their pendants, and I hope they listen to me or at least hire me as a consultant. I think with my help,  Life Alert can become to the personal security industry what Google is to the internet:

1. Redesign the pendants.  It’s laughable that in one of the Life Alert commercials, an older lady remarks to her friends about her pendant,  “You can’t even tell I have it on!”   This is a bold faced lie. The pendant is the size of a small refrigerator hanging around someone’s neck. I get that some of the wearers might  need a big button,  but let’s have some options.

Bedazzle the pendants.  I am willing to make a prototype for a sparkly pendant that says “I’m old, but I still have pizzazz.”  I still have on hand from years of dance recitals, sequins, ribbons, glitter, etc.  I can make those pendants stand out in a good way.

How about some colorful cords for the pendant?  Why must they be in basic black?  How about neon colors or printed cords or ones made of metal– a different cord to go with different outfits.

2. Let’s add to the jewelry line. I know there are necklace pendants and bracelets, but both designs are boring and bulky.  How about some pretty tear drop earrings where each one is an alarm?  How romantic would it be for someone to press the help button and whisper sweet nothings into the Life Alert operator’s ear.  How about a nice cocktail ring?  Rings go with everything. I think we can also partner with Pandora and come up with Life Alert charms for bracelets. The charm can be in the shape of the “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” lady or maybe an ambulance.

And while we are at it, let’s rename the jewelry to  the “Life Everlasting Line” collection. It sounds classy, more positive and who knows–maybe Tiffany’s might want in especially if the alarms are available in silver, gold and a more expensive diamond encrusted collection.  Personally, I’d like any gift that comes in that blue box.

These  are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my ideas. I have already tested out a few on Facebook friends, and the response is overwhelming. So Life Alert, the ball is in your court.  I can make it so everyone over the age of 12 will want an alarm.  Hell, we can even do a joint venture with Disney and have a kids’ version with Disney princesses.  Don’t dawdle on this.  But just in case, I signed up for my own pendant. If I don’t hear from you within two weeks, I’ll press the button and get in touch that way.  I’m flexible.