My 1-year-old gave me a terrible look of betrayal when I didn’t let her eat a rock. She thought we had an understanding. We did not.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 11, 2013
Getting kicked out of bed by your wife isn’t so bad once you realize “sleep on the couch” can also mean “stay up all night and play Xbox.”
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 11, 2013
If you’re having a bad day, remember “Sharts” is a real last name and right now some kid is going through middle school with it.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 11, 2013
“Why am I here?” is a poignant philosophical question unless you only asked it because you forgot why you walked into the living room.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 11, 2013
Experts say you should help kids develop job skills. My 3-year-old likes chalk. Maybe someday she can draw the outlines around dead people.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 11, 2013
