My 3-year-old is dangerously easy to bribe. I could probably get her to murder someone if I gave her a sticker for it.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 10, 2013
I don’t think women actually like bad boys. I’m bad at lots of things, especially opening jars and sex. Neither impresses my wife.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 10, 2013
My 3-year-old said, “Daddy, you’re big & strong like a garbage truck.” Thanks, I think. I often view of myself as a mobile trash receptacle.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 10, 2013
My 3-year-old said, “In the beginning God created the heavens & the earth & the Little Mermaid & her dad.” Religion is no match for Disney.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 10, 2013
I may look nerdy, but I know how to party. I read all about it in a book.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 10, 2013