A Short Course in Companion Goat Shopping

This week Madam suggested that I might enjoy the companionship of a goat. Not just any goat, but maybe a Nigerian Dwarf goat or a Spanish goat. Apparently she’s on a goat affirmative action kick.

“How about a Fainting goat?” I proposed. “A curiosity like that would make a fine chick magnet, don’t you think?”

Madam rolled her eyes. “Would you care to join me for a bit of goat shopping at the Great Minnesota Get Together?” she continued. That’s longhand for the Minnesota State Fair. “It is, after all, a perfect venue where many goat varieties compete for prizes,” she added.

Well, I’m lukewarm about the goat idea but do love the Minnesota State Fair. So, I invited my cribbage chum Gabe to come along. Gabe happens to be a master researcher and agreed to conduct a bit of goat research while we toured the livestock barns and sampled roasted sweet corn.

Gabe and I grabbed our sunglasses and jumped in the Comfy Sundowner. Madam squired us to the fairgrounds where she picked a parking spot between Hamburger Heaven and the Budweiser draft horses. That’s when the goat uprising officially began. It started when a grand champion Alpine Goat escaped from its handler. This dude exited the sheep barn at maximum speed with a small crowd running behind yelling whoa. He dashed across the street, dodged a policeman, and sprang onto the hood of Madam’s big Ram truck. Gabe and I thought it made a fabulous photo op, but Madam disagreed. Instead, she dispatched Monsieur Goat with a round of ear-bending exclamations and marched off toward the barn manager’s office to discuss insurance policies.

Gabe and I took that opportunity to head for the Miracle of Birth Barn for a peek at some new farm babies. Instead, we met a businesslike mother goat using a veterinary student’s backside for target practice. Never mind that the student was attempting to deliver twin lambs with one hand and discourage Mother goat with the other.

After viewing the baby ducks and a sow delivering twelve piglets, we left the Miracle of Birth Barn and wandered toward the State Fair Parade coming down Dan Patch Avenue. But wait! We came upon yet another goat in need of adult supervision. This one, an Icelandic variety, was annihilating a new pair of Nike running shoes, as his owner, who also happened to own the shoes, slept on a bale of straw.

Gabe and I agreed that we had met enough goats for one morning. So, we toured the rabbit barn and looked in on a herd of Belted Galloway cattle. We also visited the Moo Booth where I signed a few autographs. Gabe bought a bag of honey- dipped donuts, and we moseyed off to meet Madam in front of the German Pretzel Palace.

As we climbed in the Comfy Sundowner and headed for home, Gabe struck up a game of Words on his Android, while I pondered the subject of companion animals. You know, I think I can get along just fine with a nice domestic shorthaired cat.