Agent: Tim Tebow Only 13 Permanent Suspensions Away From Triumphant NFL Return

As a result of the NFL’s tough stance on abusers of both children and women, Tim Tebow’s agent feels he’s just about 13 permanent suspensions of current NFL starting quarterbacks away from a triumphant return to the NFL.

Tebow

Recently both Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson were suspended indefinitely due to poor off field behavior and NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has consistently come down hard on players who engage in violence against others. Once he suspended a player an entire two games for knocking out his girlfriend.

“It’s only a matter of time,” says agent Jimmy Sexton. “With social media and TMZ out there…some bad stuff is going to come out about a lot of these players. So who’s there to cash in? Squeaky clean Tim Tebow, that’s who. He’s not so much as uttered a foul word. Well he did say “fudge” once. But only when he was ordering actual fudge for some of the seniors down at the center. Give these tighter NFL policies a few more months and they’ll be begging us to come back. Who knows what skeletons lurk in Chad Henne’s closet?”

Tebow has consistently shown respect to mothers, random women, and children, and his agent believes this will pay off handsomely in this new-look morally sound NFL.

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