Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc., still attempting to prevail in its suit against the Affordable Care Act’s health insurance mandate which includes several methods of birth control it finds objectionable, has made a startling move in advance of the Supreme Court’s decision on its case. The company has announced that it will “no longer hire whores,” and it will look to hasten “attrition rates for whores already working at Hobby Lobby. ”
“Birth control is only for whores. They are the ones having all of the sex that they shouldn’t be having. Are men using these devices and so-called medications? No. We did not find one case of that. And it’s not fair to make men pay for these things, either. We can’t wait on the Supreme Court to solve all of our problems. So with this move, we eliminate the need for birth control coverage altogether by default. No whores, no birth control necessary. We feel it’s a practical response to government tyranny over religious rights. It is a rather clever and inventive solution which does not require any refereeing by the high court.
So no new hires who are whores. And current whores working for Hobby Lobby…and we maintain a list…will be made uncomfortable in an extensive effort to make them quit. We can usually figure out who they are by their visible makeup, let down hair, skirts, eye contact with men, and small children in tow. Where there’s smoke, there’s fire, if you know what I mean. It’s the only way to avoid the indiscriminate and ridiculously unfair trampling of rights.
We don’t expect uncaring atheists to understand, but this is all about Jesus. A person who would willfully refuse to allow their fertile ovaries to release God’s fruit to be nourished my man’s seed cannot rightly be expected to sell low-priced trinkets made in China by exploited and malnourished workers. Read your bible, people. All of the answers are in there. I know it’s long, but stick with it.”
The Supreme Court continues to deliberate on Hobby Lobby Stores Inc. v. Sebelius.