#ICYMI… Stacey’s Mom Has Got It Going On

EXT. SCHOOL DROP-OFF – DAY

STACEY’S MOM does the flirty over the shoulder I know you’re looking at me glance as she opens the car door and then tosses in a head tilt and a coy half-smile at the camera just in case you missed the fact that she knows you’re watching her.

Beautifully practical. Practically beautiful.

She drives a Cadillac.

Wait. Did she give us the famous leg kick as she missed making eye contact with the gawking Dads?

Uh, no, that only seems familiar. She doesn’t sell only Cadillacs, she’s also one of the Chico’s models, famous for long shirts, this year’s jacket, So-Slimming forgiveness pants, and that very flippy leg kick as she skips across your television screen – a true American symbol.

Except that, she’s French.

Nothing wrong with that, but if you are going to market to American Moms who make more of the car buying decisions in this country and shop at Chico’s, an icon of American Mom merchandising, you might want to think about hiring one of us – an American model.

No, Cindy Crawford? No, Cheryl Tiegs? No, Tyra Banks? (Can we remind Madison Avenue and Chico’s that Tyra is now over forty?) Nope, we American Moms get a leggy French Broad to try to incite us to shop for cars and clothes.

Most of us American “Moms” don’t give a flying “F” if Stacey’s Mom has got it going on. And, I’ll chance going out on a limb and say that most of the Moms doing drop off at schools across the country don’t look a bit like Stacey’s Mom.

We’re not dressed to impress wearing four inch heels with perfect hair and makeup. Many of us have just rolled out of bed, probably are still wearing what we slept in, and have done a full ten or twenty minutes or more of yelling to get our Staceys in the friggin’ car so they’re at school on time. To top it off, we’ve probably been Mean Girl-ed by Stacey’s mom at a Parent’s Association meeting so we really can’t stand her.

Flirting with the “guys” in line. Ha! No, ha-ha, ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha. Ha-ha.

Noticing that they’re even there. ROFL.

Chico’s slogan for this season: Turn Up the Brights is a brilliant tag for Cadillac too. And, what with the costs of advertising these days, they could cross promo the whole damn thing.

C’mon boys, turn up the brights.

And, happy Belated Mother’s Day to all of you American Moms!