Is America In Recline?

Another plane was recently diverted following a dispute over a seat being fully reclined. This time a woman was trying to sleep with her head on her tray table when the seat in front lurched back. If you’ve ever fallen asleep on a barstool you know this is even harder, because the bar top doesn’t move. The news keeps telling us these disputes are due to space restrictions. But I think it’s something else.

Think about First Class for a moment. Sure, they’ve got bigger seats and more legroom. But have you noticed those dividers and the curtain in the aisle? They separate First Class from Coach. And what does that give First Class passengers? Yup, a sense of being  important because they’re treated better AND separated from others.

But passengers in Coach don’t have that. They don’t have squat. They can’t feel better than others so they feel undervalued. Hence the outbursts of anger.

So here’s what airlines need to do: Remove the last two rows of seats in Coach, on both sides of the aisle. Then fence off the freed-up area with that see-through, mesh-wire divider you see in patrol cars. Put the fencing behind the last row of seats and along the aisle, creating a cage. Then pack it with standing-only customers who hold onto those ceiling-mounted rubber handles you find on busses. Those tickets would only cost $99.99. And there’d be no seats. Well, okay, one seat — a communal toilet.

Now when the Tray Napper wakes up all fired up, she can look towards the back of the plane. She’ll see the people standing in Cage, trying to ignore the person using the toilet. And she’ll say “Well, my pillow keeps moving and I just paid ten bucks for a fruit bowl, but at least I’ve got a seat. I’m a valued customer.”

Folks in Coach feel valued, others get super-cheap airfare, and everyone gets to where they’re going. A total win-win.