Many Whites With Good Jobs and Health Insurance Under the Impression They Are Being Tread Upon | HumorOutcasts

Many Whites With Good Jobs and Health Insurance Under the Impression They Are Being Tread Upon

August 8, 2014
By

HILTON HEAD, SC – Many well-off white men covered under generous health insurance policies convened for a monthly grass roots tea party gathering where they discussed the many ways that the government has been oppressing them since 2009. This reporter spoke with several of the men and heard many of their complaints about government trampling of their rights.

Don't tread

“I’m making over six figures and now my taxes are, like double what they were just 15 years ago. So…”

“Yeah, taxes! Obama’s been taxing us like a drunken sailor!”

“There are people who don’t work and they get brand new Cadillacs with our money. I heard one lady didn’t work and she got a $40K refund!”

“And there’s that craft store that is supposed to pay for birth control. That’s pretty tyrannical, I guess.”

“Don’t forget the Fed… It’s…you know… bad!”

“They’re not letting us voice our distaste for the gays, as our faith dictates!”

“They make me use these new fangled light bulbs! First they come for our light bulbs, then it’ll be our guns and our women!”

The chairman of the group added that “we use this flag because… there’s a snake and… it says “Don’t Tread On Me”… and because founders.”

Eric Hetvile

Wanted in 14 states. But those states suck, anyway.

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4 Responses to Many Whites With Good Jobs and Health Insurance Under the Impression They Are Being Tread Upon

  1. August 11, 2014 at 9:01 am

    Thanks for the clarification. One of those flags is at the end of my street and I thought we were having a snake infestation. So glad my taxes are still going up..it means I’m rich. Great post!

  2. August 8, 2014 at 7:23 pm

    Non-stop victimization. I figured that lightbulb issue was still out there. Excellent reporting.

  3. August 8, 2014 at 3:15 pm

    Once again, Mr. Hetvile, you have nailed it. Please continue to tread on the well-off white whiners. I’ve got your back.



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