The United States Food and Drug Administration has announced the recall of millions of pounds of kale which was harvested and distributed nationwide. Several FDA “spot checks” resulted in the discovery of a kale-like taste in every single sample of the leafy vegetable that was tested. This prompted fears that the entire American kale crop is tainted and led to the ultimate recall.
The recall affects organic and non-organic shipments of kale distributed by Health-E-People Produce, a unit of Trend-E-Foods, and shipped to almost every grocery chain in America. The company would not comment on the recall.
Since the recall, there have been many self-reported instances of involuntary face contortions and eye bulges, vile profanity after unsuspecting consumption, and ultimately loose stools. Symptoms do subside after abstaining from the suspected kale for 48-72 hours. Anyone wishing to avoid these symptoms, please return any kale purchased since 2011 back to your grocer for a full refund.
I have a recipe you might like to write about. Kale, blueberries, some kind of juice, etc. etc. The result resembles a baby’s used diaper and hence, the name Poo Smoothy. ARGH! In addition to the peculiar flavor, a person could choke to death on kale.
One of the cafes on the university campus where I work sells kale salad. I have avoided it so far, thinking that it will probably taste as vile as the coconut water that I tried to drink today.
If I buy one and it makes me want to retch, I will hold the author of this post personally responsible, for making me really curious. 😉
At the risk of being ostracized I will admit that I love Kale! I know it’s such a non-male food but Richard, it’s so good for you!
I am one of the proud few left in this country that can honestly claim that I have never tried Kale. I’ve had many opportunities (Partner consumes it like he’s destroying evidence) and have turned down every one. Not sure why.
Thank you. Just . . . thank you.