Resident Always Thought Something Like This Would Happen In His Neighborhood

Last night police responded to a grisly murder at the Terrace View Apartments in Camden, New Jersey. Details were even held back from the press due to their intensely graphic nature.


While most residents were absolutely shocked that something like this could occur where they live, local reporters caught up with Terrace View resident John Coughman. “I saw what went down. Crazy stuff. They don’t have those sheets covering that whole balcony for nothing. I figured it was just a matter of time before something like this was gonna happen here. I mean, look around. It’s no Taja Mall here. You got the Smiths down there on the first floor cooking meth all day. Then you got Mr. Fenton on three playing a dang bass guitar all day… if that ain’t the most depressing thing one can do with their time. They’re selling crack across the way there, and over there, and way over there, too. People coming and going at all hours of the night. And then you’ve got the Mayfield boy down on two. Going around all day burning stuff with a magnifying glass. Insects, frogs, cats…you name it. His father supposedly works from home, but I’ve never seen the guy sober even once. Hell, to be honest, I’m surprised something like this didn’t happen a lot sooner.”

Veteran Camden detective Jarvis Gilmore added, “I’m shaken to the core. I’ve not seen anything this brutal…exhibiting such… disdain for humanity… since at least last Saturday.”

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2 thoughts on “Resident Always Thought Something Like This Would Happen In His Neighborhood”

  1. Ha!! Seriously. Are there ever any murders where people answer like this? Are these people edited out? It’s always Glinda the Good Witch, president of the HOA, squeaking, “We’d never expect something like this to happen in our subdivision of gingerbread homes and candy streams!”

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