With Christmas done, many families are breathing a sigh of relief. Top among this group are families that have to deal with a racist. The other day I saw something online where a liberal schoolteacher got a Christmas check from her uncle. Written on the memo line was the phrase “Hooray for Darren Wilson!” Uncle Bruce probably thought it was funny to rile up his cousin. His outraged cousin posted a picture of the check online.
Outrage is such a losing proposition because you lose the humor advantage. If that’d been me receiving the check I’d have used it to buy a nicely framed photo. I’d have added some wording. And then I’d have sent the picture along with a note saying “Thanks for the check Uncle Bruce, I spent it on this gift for you”:
Alternatively, you could hold onto the check and wait for Uncle Bruce to start experiencing deep financial difficulties. With racists, this happening at some point in their life is almost a given. So you wait and watch. And just when things couldn’t get any worse for Bruce on the financial front you cash the check.
The one thing a racist hates more than non-whites is a huge overdraft fee.
This all leads to the main point of this post – how to handle gift-giving between family members who don’t get along. I know the chocolate industry thrives on this kind of discord, but there’s a better solution, and Bruce and his cousin point the way forward. You simply agree to exchange gifts that rile each other, but on the condition that you both know it’s meant to be funny.
Your conservative, Navy Seal uncle sends you, the environmentalist, a huge lump of coal. You send him an Osama Bin Laden action figure. You both laugh and skip the anger.
Humor always beats outrage when it comes to family.
I think anyone whose greatest pleasure is making someone else uncomfortable should be clapped in old fashioned stocks, with a sign saying, “Immature human with the IQ of an amoeba.”
Is “un-uncle” a thing yet or are we still just disowning insufferable morons like this?