Step 1: Take a regular sentence.
Step 2: Cut out all the vowels.
Congratulations. You speak Russian.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 9, 2014
4-year-old: *sees an old war vet missing a thumb* Did you lose your thumb in a war?
Vet: Yeah.
*lowers voice*
A thumb war.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 8, 2014
There’s nothing better than the sound of children’s laughter…
Until you realize they’re giggling because they set something on fire.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 8, 2014
4-year-old: My hair is standing up!
Me: It’s called static electricity.
4: Am I a witch?
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 8, 2014
4-year-old: You sat on my Barbie! You broke her leg!
Me: Sorry. How can I make it up to you?
4: Let me break your leg.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 8, 2014
From http://t.co/HTDVyrZqw5 6/14/14: pic.twitter.com/icF1zbkdFx
— James Breakwell (@James_Breakwell) December 5, 2014