Why You Shouldn’t Watch The New ’50 Shades of Grey’ Trailer | HumorOutcasts

Why You Shouldn’t Watch The New ’50 Shades of Grey’ Trailer

August 3, 2014

Why you shouldn't watch theHave you seen this?  The new “50 Shades of Grey” trailer is intended to make us salivate for the new movie, but all it does is remind us why we hate car commercials and bad song remakes.

Click here to see it.  Think twice.  Seriously.

The entire trailer is set to a version of “Wicked Game” that will make you want to poke your eyes out, which is just as good, because then you wouldn’t have to watch the rest of the teaser.

Most of it is varying shots of expensive items like watches and cars.  It looks like a commercial for cheap cologne where the horrible stench actually permeates your screen, punching you in the face.

You deserve it if you continue watching this trailer past a minute.

There are numerous close-up shots of a sports car, which makes you think it’s a car commercial, but then you realize those have more excitement than this trailer brings.

The few shots of the actors are often blurry, which is probably for the best, as they show absolutely nothing about the plot.

If I hadn’t subjected myself to reading this poorly written book, I’d have no idea what the movie was about.

Come to think of it, that’s probably why it’s done this way.

Lisa Newlin

Lisa is a humor writer who plays an unconvincing lawyer in year life. She prefers dogs to most people, and food over most everything. Her blog, http://lisanewlin.com will make you feel better about your own life. It will also remind you that vodka is the answer to everything. (Except if the question is "What should I throw on this fire?" Then the answer is definitely NOT vodka.) She is also a co-author of the bestselling humor books, "I Just Want to Be Alone" and "'You've Got Lipstick On Your Teeth,' And Other Things Only Heard From Your Friends In The Powder Room." You should buy them immediately on Amazon.com.

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13 Responses to Why You Shouldn’t Watch The New ’50 Shades of Grey’ Trailer

  1. Bill Y Ledden
    August 4, 2014 at 6:12 am

    I now want an expensive car.

    • August 5, 2014 at 9:43 pm

      And a watch…right?!

    • August 5, 2014 at 9:44 pm

      And a watch too!

  2. August 4, 2014 at 1:38 am

    Wait … it’s not a commercial for a car?

    • August 5, 2014 at 9:44 pm

      I’ve never wanted an Audi more than when I watched this trailer.

  3. Kathy Minicozzi
    August 3, 2014 at 8:32 pm

    Of course, I had to go and watch that whole damned trailer!

    I wasn’t going to see the movie, anyway, but now I am totally and completely convinced that I won’t go anywhere near it.

    I would go to see Maura Stone’s version, though!

    • August 3, 2014 at 8:56 pm

      Thanks so much, Kathy!!!

    • August 3, 2014 at 9:00 pm

      Kathy, I’m both disappointed in you and happy that you watched the trailer. It looks just like a car commercial, right?

  4. August 3, 2014 at 11:05 am

    Thanks. Was planning to pass, now I’m more convinced.

    • August 3, 2014 at 1:36 pm

      For the love of God, Thomas, don’t subject yourself to this. You’ll be dumber for it.

  5. August 3, 2014 at 5:42 am

    Bravo! I wrote a parody of 50 Shades in the name of Cheri Blossum, an adult entertainer of the 1990’s: Secrets & Seduction. It’s some story – a real plot, real BDSM, a bit of gay sex thrown in and quite funny. Now THAT would make some movie!

    • August 3, 2014 at 1:35 pm

      I would totally see that movie! Assuming the character didn’t say “Holy cow!” constantly like the chick in this book did.

      Worst. Book. Ever.

      • August 3, 2014 at 8:57 pm

        Thanks! I’m sure it would be like a Coen Brothers movie, though.

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