Recently I watched a movie starring an actress whose first name is Brie. It was kind of cheesy. But that has nothing to do with today’s topic, which is pet peeves. I make it a point to not have pet peeves since they fail to pass the “refugee test” (in which someone spending the winter in a pup tent in Greece considers your “problem” and says, “Oh, that must be soooo difficult to handle.”).
But try as I may, I do have one pet peeve that I can’t seem to shake. It involves my trash can. If on garbage day I fail to return the bin to my driveway immediately after it’s been emptied, I can usually count on finding a little surprise inside it – a little bag of dog poop. I don’t know why the offending dog-walker cannot simply cart the little turd-bag back home. They’d do me better by just letting Fluffy rip away on the lawn so the rain could handle the mess. But noooo! So, I have to dump the poop bag out of the trashcan, put in a new liner, stab the little poop bag with my wife’s toothbrush (so the foulness doesn’t get on my hands), and then dump it into the trashcan.
I know what you’re thinking. But no, I’m not gonna put one of those signs in my yard that says “This Is Not A Bathroom!” I love seeing little dog poops near those signs. I’ll even move one there myself in the name of fun and irony. And I simply refuse to be that one person on the block who “defends” a patch of ground that actually belongs to the city.
But I’ve got a better idea. I’m going to cut a hole in the bottom of the trashcan. Then I’m gonna run a high-pressure, underground water line from the sink to the front yard. Attached to the line will be a high-powered nozzle pointing straight upwards. And the trashcan with the hole in the bottom will go right over the nozzle.
Add in an outdoor web-cam and I’m ready to roll. Now, whenever I see a dog-walker heading for my trashcan with a little insult/gift bag, I can smile with joy. The moment that person lifts the lid off the can they’ll get hit with a stream of water. Big laughs will ensue (at least for me).
And with enough film clips, I think I could easily become a YouTube star.
Gee, I don’t ever remember having a bag of doggy do as a featured image in a post before Tom! Great post!
Just trying to add a bit of class with that image. Thanks.
When you start rolling film, you might enjoy yourself even more by singing, “Smile! You’re on trashcan camera.”