Pyramids Stored Grain says Dr. Carson

“The Pyramids were built to store grain,” said presidential candidate Dr. Ben Carson, “They were not tombs and they were built by Joseph. Plus, they had hermetically sealed compartments, another sign of grain storage.”

I can believe he said that. After all, who would know more about rice than uncle Ben. After all, it’s not brain surgery.

I can see all those Egyptian slaves lugging those massive stones with visions of delicious matzo down the way. Surely, to a Jewish slave, that’s more motivation than building tombs for mummies. Unless it were Jewish mummies who you know will be complaining about lying in the dark.
However, there are some smarty pantaloons who doubt Dr. Ben’s knowledge. To those smarty pants, I’ll just say why don’t you give splitting apart conjoined twins a try? Yeah, see, not so pantaloony now.
Some others, who call themselves “Egyptologists” dispute Dr. Ben. One, a Dr. Deborah Sweeney from Tel Aviv University, says Pyramids were definitely used as tombs. “Burial equipment such as sarcophagi, jewelry and mummies were found in them.” 

Okay, here we go, and this one happens to be a Debbie Downer but I’ll be the first to point out – Tel Aviv University is not in Egypt so how can she call herself an “Egyptologist?” Secondy, she’s bitching about jewelry? Back in those days costume jewelry was made from grain. Uh-huh, think about that!

Dr. Debbie Downer Sweeney has more dumb stuff to rebuff the good Doctor “The pyramids were almost solid masonry with not much room for storage and they were hermetically sealed to prevent grave robbery.”  What if we said it was really, really tiny grain? How about that, Ms. “Egyptologist” from a university not in Egypt.
Here comes another Egypologist, a guy named Orly Goldwasser with Hebrew University saying Joseph couldn’t be involved because the pyramids were built 1000 years before Joseph was born. Hey, Mr. Goldwasser-with-a-Jewish-name-most-certainly-at-a-university-not-in-Egypt, you try separating Siamese twins!! For all we know, Joseph might have been some kind of time traveler who was able to go back in time and help out with pyramids. Do you have future president Dr. Ben Carson’s brain? I doubt it or you wouldn’t have kept the name, Orly.
Geez, what kind of world has this become when a brain surgeon presidential candidate can’t espouse an alternate pyramid theory without professors from Israel trying to belittle him? Guys, President Carson will remember this when Israel comes looking for financial aid.

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2 thoughts on “Pyramids Stored Grain says Dr. Carson”

  1. This is definitely not rocket science … or brain surgery … or rocket surgery … oh, forget it!

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