The Race Driver vs the Pocket Commando

THE NASCAR DRIVER VS THE POCKET COMMANDO

In the world of NASCAR, a race driver, Kurt Busch, in defending himself against a domestic abuse charge says his petite girlfriend he was accused of battering, is a hired assassin. Let me repeat: a hired assassin! In other words, she can defend herself and no way would he dare abuse her.

We haven’t done a NASCAR story in a while, mainly because not many of them were juicy. Well, this one is… very, very juicy.

Kurt Busch’s ex-girlfriend is Patricia Driscoll, a tiny (5′ tall) owner of a surveillance security company — Frontline Defense Systems – and is president of a fund raising entity called Armed Forces Foundation. Ms. Driscoll has made self-serving videos, possibly to sell states and governments on her security systems, showing her rifle range skills and love for weapons.

Busch is accused of slamming Driscoll’s head three times against the wall of his motorhome. Busch counters that in no way would he do that because, despite her size, Driscoll is a bad-ass, a trained assassin who has traveled all over the world killing people, even came home one time wearing a gown covered in blood.

You have to wonder if he truly believes this. Yes, Busch isn’t known for hyperbole or to be a conspiracist. But, still, it’s strange. Because, if he believes this military security business owner, this gal known as “The Pocket Commando,” really is a trained assassin, wouldn’t he be quiet about it?

Wouldn’t you? If this really is the case, if your girlfriend can snap your neck in your sleep and had someone with lots of money spent training her, wouldn’t you figure her trainers wouldn’t like her outed? Yeah, I’d think that would be uttermost on your mind.

Because, come on, If she really were a trained assassin, wouldn’t she also be trained how to make some assassinations look like accidents? You know what I mean: accidents, such as automobile accidents, such as those experienced by race drivers. If she really were a trained assassin don’t you think she could plant an explosive device in a race car that might detonate during a minor accident and kill only the driver? We’re not saying she would do that but it’s not unlikely a trained assassin could plant an explosive device in a car so that it looked like a minor brush into the wall had unfortunate results. If I thought my girlfriend had the capability and were out to get me, I’d be shaking every time I strapped in on the track.

Yeah, if I thought my girlfriend were a trained assassin, I would definitely be thinking about an amiable breakup, maybe buy her off, maybe give her some money, but I wouldn’t be exposing her. It just seems curious.

In testimony, Driscoll counters that Busch is a little mental and all the crap he’s spouting about her traveling to Africa and South America to off the bad guys is a figment with most of it lifted from a movie script she’s been writing for eight years. Also, she wants us to know, the video you can find on You Tube of her at the firing range talking about her bad-assiness was a promo designed to get her a reality show.

Somewhere between what he says and she says lies the truth. That’s what makes the story juicy.