SOMERVILLE, Mass. This densely-populated suburb of Boston, once known as the Rebuilt Engine Capital of America, has slowly transformed itself into a hipster mecca as people like Evan Grinstead have moved in. “It’s a pretty cool place except for my landlady,” he says as he turns the key in the lock of a “triple-decker,” the local term for a common style of three-story apartment building. “She has this thing about getting her rent on time, which is a major hassle.”
With their slumping posture and nascent beer guts, Evan and his twenty-something roommates Todd Dromke and Ed Radzik don’t look the part, but they are in fact world-class athletes, primed to represent Somerville in the 2015 “Winter Y Games,” which start here tomorrow. “I can’t tell you how much time I’ve put into training,” says Radzik as he fiddles with a balky piece of equipment. “That’s because his short-term memory is shot with all the pot he smokes,” adds Dromke, and it is apparent after checking his facial expression that he’s not kidding.
The “Y Games,” like the “X Games,” take their name from a short-hand locution. “Just as the X stands for ‘extreme’ for people who aren’t too good at spelling, the Y is the common response to a question often asked during long New England winters,” says ESPN14 producer Mike Aramlak. “Somebody will say ‘Do you want to go outside?’ and the answer is usually ‘Why bother?’”
“Dude–you’re trying way too hard!”
And so men and women take to couches and beanbag chairs in early autumn to train for both sprints and distance events, such as the Weekend Slothalon, a grueling test that combines watching television, playing video games, eating pizza, drinking beer, smoking pot and a sixth event no one can remember over a 60-hour time span that runs from Friday night to Monday morning. “Some guys peak too soon,” says Grinstead, who represents the class of a very competitive field. “You want to chew slowly, you’ve got to make the pizza last through dinner and breakfast three days in a row.”
Medalists here will qualify for the U.S. team to be selected for the 2016 Y Games to be held in a city designated after the International Olympic Committee accepts written proposals from third-tier cities around the world. “The integrity of the process is important,” notes Kim Yong-wook, the representative of South Korea on the selection committee. “Cash bribes should be enclosed in a sealed, unmarked envelope, sexual favors in black lace teddies.”