Wrong Guy at your Halloween Door

People think because I’m old I’m not up on the current trends but that’s not so. Last year for Halloween, all the candy I gave out was crushed. Most were with me until this guy showed up.

This guy was standing at my door, last year… on Halloween … and he’s dressed all in black … carrying a sickle. Scary.
You see, because I’m old … very old. All I could think of was to say “I-I-I-I h-h-h-hope that’s a costume!”

No answer. Complete quiet. Just a guy with his hand out. I continue “Whaddya doing, coming to neighborhood of old people? Where are you going next, the nursing home?”

Then a deep, crackling voice emits “Candy! Do you have candy?”

I’m thinking, oh my gawd, the Grim Reaper has a sweet tooth!!


I quickly shove some candy his way. Of course, it’s crushed. Then, he emits more words:
“Do you have a will?”

“I’m working on it,” I respond.

“Git ‘er done!” the guy in black whispers.

I’m thinking, Geez, the Grim Reaper is a Larry the Cable Guy Fan! I thought he had better taste.

My curiosity gets the best of me. I start to invite him in, then I think better of it but still I ask “How’s biz?” I should’ve kept my trap shut. Talk about old folks complaining. Nobody understands, yada, yada, new laws, yada, yada. This is how they get you to give up.




Then he says “Aren’t you the guy who writes those silly sports stories?”

Oh no, this guy knows too much about me.

“I’ve got an exclusive for you,” he breathes, trying to entice me to lean in so I can hear better. I know better. He continues, “I can skate a bit. I’m going out for the NHL.”

Oh, gosh. Do I want to write about this? I can see it working. It’d be a nice exclusive but I have a hard time writing a straight story without making a little fun and… and… this might not be someone you’d want to make fun about.

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