“America is back — and there’s so much more to do.”
That’s my reelection slogan and it certainly is true.
There’s no border wall to speak of, and the tax form’s still complex.
I need more time since so far I’ve only taken baby steps.
While I’ve undermined Obamacare, it still is in existence;
Got distracted there while fending off a White House-based resistance.
I abhor cooperation and insist I’ll do things my way —
Therefore nothing has been done to fix our bridges and our highways.
No movement on parental leave… Ivanka gave her all.
Did you see the plan she came up with? Robs Peter to pay Paul.
I got testy with Canadians, the Germans and the French.
Said I’d drain the swamp and yet there’s still the most god-awful stench.
I claimed I would make college more affordable for most,
But like much of what I promised, that’s another empty boast.
The strengthening of background checks I claimed was necessary,
Then the NRA dropped by; we had a chat… so now I’m wary.
I said coal was coming back, and then I offered a solution:
I’ll just loosen up the regs and lower thresholds for pollution.
We’re the cleanest country on the planet: that means we can flirt
With a relax in regulations to allow a bit more dirt.
I’m still working to get immigrants and children reunited,
And those fifteen hundred other kids we seem to have lost sight of.
I gave Florence victims food to eat, which some of them were seekin’.
Guess it left them very thankful they weren’t dead – or Puerto Rican.
Not quite halfway through my first term, and already there’s a focus
On the 2020 campaign as I work to keep the locus
Of my presidential powers in a way that’s absolute:
Crush my enemies, with freedom of the press now in dispute.
Assuming that the Russia probe won’t knock me from my perch,
The next two years you’ll see as I pretend to go to church.
With your help I’ll be re-elected, then drop all hypocrisy:
Declare myself a strongman, and eliminate democracy.