Washington, D.C. – Trump 2020 campaign officials announced today the President is heading to Bunker Hill for his next rally.
The Commander-In-Chief supposedly took a tour of the White House bunker during recent D.C. protests and liked what he saw.
White House Press Secretary, Kayleigh Megalomaniac, told reporters, “President Trump loves big bunkers and I cannot lie. He wants to spread his message, and possibly the Coronavirus, at the famous one in Bunker Hill.”
Trump tweeted this morning:
I LOVE the beautiful history of our great Bunker on the Hill. Our patriotic leaders, George Washington (I call him George) Benjamin Franklin, Aretha Franklin, Abraham Lincoln (Greatest President after ME!) George Patton and Harriet Tubman (she worked underground, so she knows about bunkers) joined together to build a huge shelter to protect the red, white and blue bloods from British THUGS during the first Civil War……
.… Come join me at our next RECORD-BREAKING!! Rally. The Left-Wing Media will go NUTS when I call out the National Guard to deny them access to the bunker. Remember!!
NO MASK, NO DISTANCING, NO RESPONSIBILITY!!!
When questioned by a CNN reporter about the fact there is no bunker at Bunker Hill, the Press Secretary claimed, “Fake News!” She went on to say “If the President says there is one, then who’s to say there isn’t – it’s an alternative bunker.”