On February 7th, Ms. Greene, the first extraterrestial to serve in the U. S. House of Representatives, will be beamed up to a Tesla Mother Ship and transported to Zafftron, her home galaxy in the Southeastern quadrant of the Universe, approximately 237 light years from Earth.
According to a high-ranking official in the Zafftron Imperial Council, “we had high hopes for what Marjorie could accomplish on your planet, but it turns out that she’s just too bats**t crazy to get the job done. It’s time to cut our losses.”
Ms. Greene was not available for comment. An aide from her Congressional office informed Humor Outcasts that she was busy rehearsing a string quartet of bedbugs, who reside in her futon, for a chamber music performance celebrating the 208th birthday of famed composer Richard Wagner on May 22nd. “She wants to make sure the performance takes place while Mr. Wagner is still alive,” says the aide. “Would you like to sign the card we got for him?”