In a press conference yesterday, Nancy Pelosi announced that the House of Representatives will impeach Donald Trump on a monthly basis over the next decade. Dressed as Captain Ahab, her right hand grasping a harpoon, Pelosi explained the decision:
“That son of a bitch has done so much damage to our democracy over the past four years, my opinion is that the House should impeach him EVERY WEEK. Once a month is a compromise. And we won’t STOP impeaching that orange whale, even if he’s convicted.
“We’re going to ask the Department of Justice to install a single cinder-block prison cell on top of the border wall separating Nogales, Arizona from Nogales, Mexico. The cell will house Mr. Trump and be furnished with a chemical toilet, an air mattress filled with live cockroaches, and a small window smeared with Vicks VapoRub.
“This isn’t about vengeance, it’s about justice.
“Okay, maybe it is about vengeance, matey.”