Virtually all of Russia’s 146 million citizens, equipped with freshly oiled shopping carts, have assembled at the Ukrainian border in anticipation of the annual Yak-Burger Blowout Sale at the Lubava Shopping Centre in Cherkasy. The doors open at 12:01 am on Friday, February 11th.
“Ukrainian yak meat is so much tastier than Russian yak meat,” says Darya Fedorov, a Russian mother of 14. “It’s less stringy and has fewer maggots. Yak burgers with homemade curly fries always make for big hit with my family on National Tundra Day, when Russians young and old sit on floor in bathroom to watch their toilet rust.”