Representative-Elect Santos Denies That He Ever Claimed to Have a Penis, Asserting Instead That He is Only “Pen-ish”

Serial liar George Santos, the Republican politician who recently admitted that he is not Jewish (just Jew-ish), has now acknowledged that a misunderstanding has arisen concerning his fondness for writing in longhand.

“Yes, I am definitely ‘pen-ish’,” says Santos.  “But that does NOT mean I have a penis.  I don’t.”