FBI Finds Gutenberg Bible, Coca-Cola Formula, and Jimmy Hoffa in Trunk of Biden’s Corvette

White House officials are scrambling to explain the presence of an original Gutenberg Bible, a document containing the secret formula for Coca-Cola, and the mummified remains of labor-union leader Jimmy Hoffa in the trunk of President Joe Biden’s 1967 Corvette Stingray. 

In a hastily called press briefing on Monday, White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre said that the President had purchased the Bible when it was first published in 1455, and that he still has the receipt.  As for the Coke formula, Biden claims to have found it in 2019 on a beach near Wilmington, Delaware when he was searching for starfish with his wife Jill.

Ms. Jean-Pierre indicated that the President has no idea how Mr. Hoffa’s body ended up in his car.  However, Biden notes that he was in Bloomfield Township, Michigan on July 30, 1975, the location and date of Mr. Hoffa’s disappearance.  According to Jean-Pierre, “the President had driven to a Corvette rally that day, and for much of the afternoon the hood and trunk of his vehicle were open for display in a large public parking lot.  Something could have happened.”

 

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2 thoughts on “FBI Finds Gutenberg Bible, Coca-Cola Formula, and Jimmy Hoffa in Trunk of Biden’s Corvette”

  1. I knew about the Gutenberg and the Coca-cola already, but that damned Hoffa must have been pretty rank!
    Pour some of the Coca-cola on him to take care of the smell…..

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