In what promises to be a landmark case, the U.S. Supreme Court has agreed to hear oral arguments in March that will pit the AARP against the Church of Satan.
The AARP holds that Joe Biden’s “cognitive slippage” due to aging should not disqualify him from running for a second term as President, while the Church of Satan contends that Donald Trump should be allowed to pursue the Oval Office even though he embodies the essence of cosmic evil. The Court has indicated that it will rule in favor of one of these positions and against the other.
Veteran observers of the Court suspect that Biden may be vulnerable in this case, given that Chief Justice John Roberts recently remarked at an American Bar Association dinner, “I lie awake at night worrying that the President might press the wrong button on the red phone in his bathroom and mistakenly launch a nuclear attack against North Korea, when all he wanted to do was order curly fries from Wendy’s.”
On the other hand, not all conservatives on the Court are comfortable with Trump’s nastiness. Amy Coney Barrett has said that shaking Trump’s hand at her nomination announcement was like “being carnally violated by Caligula.” Brett Kavanaugh commented in a recent CNN interview that “to make eye contact with Donald Trump is to gaze into the 9th circle of Hell in Dante’s Inferno.” And Clarence Thomas told a gathering of Howard University law students last week that “Donald Trump is one mean-ass sumbitch. You can take it to the bank: if Gandhi, Mother Teresa, and Martin Luther King encountered Mr. Trump in an alley, they would kick the living s**t out of that mofo. Hell, I would, too. He’s that bad.”
The Court’s decision is expected in late June.
Yes, yes, yes!