A sunny, peaceful afternoon on the pond in Boston Public Garden was shattered on Thursday when a U. S. military drone blew up a Swan Boat carrying 12 vacationing nuns from Caracas, Venezuela.
According to Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth, “we had every reason to believe that the passengers on board were cartel drug smugglers traveling in disguise. At least, that’s what FBI Director Kash Patel told me on Wednesday night. He had been tracking the group ever since they left Caracas. But guess what? It turns out that they really were nuns. How about that! An honest mistake.”
For his part, President Trump has promised to call in the National Guard to reduce crime on the pond and build a new Swan Boat that he claims will be “the best Swan Boat ever.”
“I know they hate me in Boston, they always have,” said the President, “but I’m going to make this right.”
May this be the entire Administration’s swan song.