1.How do you get a Trump off the toilet?
Yell to him/her that the touch of human skin corrodes gold seats.
2.Why do Trump cards sell less than baseball cards?
Because baseball players actually DO something to earn their living.
3.Why does Melania avoid her husband?
Between the body B.O. and the verbal B.O. that he emits it is all too much for her.
- Why does Trump’s son Barron keep out of the spotlight?
For him it is a choice between being next to his dad and looking like a MIni-Me, staying away from him and possibly losing his inheritance, or joining a remote monastery that rejects all material things. Tough choices.
- How does Trump remain a hero to the Christians when he is anything BUT a Christian?
The preachers know who holds the keys to the tax free status churches get so they play along.
- If Trump really is a Christian then why does he engage in such sinful deceits, business dealings and speeches when he knows he can go to Hell?
Because Satan needs Presidents in Hell too to keep things in disorder and unpleasant. Donald has proven himself a true Master at that!
- How can Trump declare himself a ‘genius’ when he seems to be anything but?
Because he actually is! Watch and listen to him closely and you will see that he is a genius at pulling the wool over people’s eyes, at convincing the working class that he is their hero even though he has never lifted a shovel, washed a dish, shampooed a carpet, hit a nail or any other common talent a normal working class person would in his whole life.
He is brilliant at connivery, an expert at telling bold faced lies, at making up distorted facts. At worming his way out of lawsuits. At squirming his way out of paying his contractors and lawyers. And a genius at getting his way all the time, at coming up with new grifts, at being obnoxious and yet still dense. I have never seen anyone before who was brilliant at being dense…….
- Why does Putin like Trump so much?
Because Putin is a big fan of Marionette theaters!
And Trump is just like one of the marionettes- his head is wooden and somewhat hollow, he can be controlled by unseeable strings, he does whatever you want him to, his body moves woodenly, he follows a pre-made script, he cannot truly think for himself over many things, and someone has to play the Fool!
- Why does Trump want Greenland?
Because he wants to melt it down and make the world’s largest golf course.
Why does Trump want to take over Panama?
So that he can close off both ends and make the world’s largest yacht marina.
Why does Trump want Canada to be part of the US?
Because he thinks that the Canadians own the North Pole and if he could get his hands on the stuff that Santa produces he will be the first trillionaire!
11a. Secondary question to number 11: Why does Trump think it is good to take over the North Pole?
Because Santa has already made it into a monopoly, the elves work for room and board, there are no hindering laws at the North Pole and he can put tariffs on the whole world!
- Why does Trump always wear a long red tie?
He thinks that is a symbol of his manly ‘endowment’. It isn’t…….