Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to
The news, even that about Grok porn, doesn’t need to be complicated or confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable will come out soon. Really all you need to do is follow one simple rule: barely pay attention and jump to conclusions. So, here are some headlines today and my first thoughts:
Musk’s AI making Grok porn
Or, as it’s also known, Degenerative AI.
Britney Spears arrested for DUI
Word is, she pled: I’m not that innocent.
Britain’s aircraft carrier may need French escort
Isn’t that one of things that got Prince Andrew in deep @&*%?
Pentagon tells Congress the first week of the Iran war cost the US $11.3 billion, an AP source says
Or 1/2 tank of gas, 2 beef jerky sticks and a Big Gulp.
Trump sends fawning birthday wishes to Rupert Murdoch, he’s suing for $10B
I’m sure it came surrounded by a drawing he can deny ever sending.
Jennifer Lopez says she had to ‘sit in what had happened’ after her divorce from Ben Affleck
… Not enough penance for my having to sit in for a showing of ‘Gigli’.
Noem lent Melania Trump one of DHS’s luxury jets as an ‘insurance policy’ to protect her from spending backlash, report says
I don’t really care. Do you?
Lakers’ Luka Doncic in a custody dispute for his two daughters with his former fiancée in Slovenia
In fairness to his former fiancée, if it’s like basketball, once you give Luka something you never get it back.
You can now get Botox at Planned Parenthood
It was impossible to tell if that’s a good or bad thing based on the looks on faces of people who made announcement.
Happy 33rd birthday, Justin Bieber
What do you get for the guy who annoys everyone?
Stephen A Smith says he’d vote for Marco Rubio for President
… Especially if the Democratic nominee is Stephen A Smith.
Jim Carrey had ‘major surgical transformation’ that likely cost as high as $60K, plastic surgeon says
So, his face has gone from Numb and Number to the Mask 2.0.
Megyn Kelly rips ’60 Minutes,’ Bari Weiss for ‘bulls–t’ edits to Pete Hegseth interview
Now that’s some Karen on Karen crime.
National Pi day
… A day that seems to never end …