I have a legitimate question/concern: When a guy gets a new girlfriend and that information becomes public (either through the circle of friends or FaceSpace), why does every girl that he ever dated come out of the woodwork to “check-in” on him? Is there some type of whore code or slut signal that goes out when a guy comes off the market?
I’m not exactly what you would call a serial monogamist, I imagine that is why my first book was titled Memoirs of a Serial Bachelor, so, in a lot of ways this monogamy thing is a new experience for me. I have been involved with my current girlfriend for seven months (this time frame covers the talking that begets the actual dating process) and over the last two months this termite problem has become pretty bad…
Girl 1 (email): “Oh hi, I am just writing you to see if everything is OK. What’s new with you? ;-)”
Girl 2 (Facebook message): “Hey, it’s been a while. I miss chatting with you. How is life treating you? Anything exciting happening in your world?”
Girl 3 (text message): “What are you up to? Want to hang out this weekend?”
Girl 4 (picture message of her tits accompanied by a playful grin): “Hi!”
In the past, I would have been less than honest about things (with a girlfriend) and made a valid attempt to leave a door open. Why? Because if my relationship went awry, I could slide right into another wet piece of ass. It’s the oldest trick in the guy book: Cultivate the land, harvest sexual attention. That’s not the case this time. I’m a little more mature (just a little), I’ve learned what I want out of life, and I really… really love my girlfriend. I’m not interested in leaving a door open. I’m just trying to get the damn Orkin man to come over and treat my home for this infestation.
I understand that it’s quite possible that these women are accustomed to my fleeting heart, so their contact with me could very well be anticipatory and in good faith. That’s why I am adamant, in my reply, that things are quite well in my world and that I am incredibly happy with my new girlfriend. I even go to the extreme of bragging about my wonderment to make sure these gals wholly understand my infatuation with my new love. You would think this was enough to ward them off. Not so much, my friends.
[This is about to sound self-righteous… and I accept that.]
Women, what is the appeal of showing interest in me when I am involved? Are you a moth to a flame or do you just want to fuck with me and my happiness? I can assure you of one thing, in all of this, you do not need to remind me that I missed out. I can tell you that I weighed all pussy options before committing to one, I properly and thoroughly performed due diligence before getting seriously involved. I’m not with you because I found something better (for me). Sometimes you need something a little more emotional and tangible than sex. There… I admitted it… I have feelings and I am capable of love. I’m sorry that you missed out on something too.
And no, I am not implying that I have never shown interest in an involved woman… it’s just that when I have, my aim had nothing to do with psychology and everything to do with sex. It was selfish, not intentionally deconstructive. That doesn’t make it right, that just makes it a learning experience. Believe it or not, and I don’t think this is a news flash, it’s not always about sex for me… it’s mostly about sex.
Best of luck, ladies. I hope you don’t turn into this… thing:
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTTwcCVajAc&w=425&h=349]
I am going to answer your question about why they contact when they know you are involved. 1) You only miss what you can’t have. If you become available, they won’t want you again. You have taken away the challenge 2) They want themselves and their friends to know that they still got it and they can get anyone — even a taken man. They want to think that they are the most attractive and most special and getting a taken man to abandon his gf and go back with the ex is about as “I still got it” as there is. 3) They are bitches and want to cause trouble for the girl who got their ex-boyfriend just out of spite.
We both know you’d hit that. Just buy a cat costume and you’ll be in for sure!
Jack… that’s the type of girl who would cook your rabbit. The type of girl you’d break up with and she’d set up a tent in your front yard, the candlelight vigil and fear of murder keeping you up all night. The type of girl you set your buddy up with… just because you want a good story.