Author: Joseph Boxer
The Morning Routine…
I’m in the shower when I realize that I threw my washcloth in the hamper last night. Naturally, I didn’t put one in the shower to replace it because that requires forethought… which I lack […]
The Panda Story
She is five minutes late and I am updating Twitter (www.twitter.com/__jb__): “Remember girls… only make a guy wait if you’re worth it.” “Girl,” shows up—a yellow and white sundress, blonde hair, tan body, hazel eyes… […]
Earthquake Near D.C.
Chaos from New York City to Atlanta. In Washington D.C. phone lines are down and it marks the first time in my pre-pubescent life that I have wanted anything from D.C. to go down on […]
Stay With Me Here (Here in Slow Motion)
I love her. As true as it is cliché, I knew it from the first moment that I saw her. Here she is, almost a year later, and we have our routines. One of which… […]
How to Handle Women
[Possibly Rated R, Proceed with Caution] Women are to be handled with kid gloves… all the time. There is no exception to this rule and you cannot waver. If you do… she’ll bite your head […]
Tampons, How Do They Work?
Does any man really know how a tampon works? I know what it does, but I certainly don’t know the components… I don’t know how to use one. It’s not as if I am looking […]
Temporary Vacation (Pump)
In late-1989 I turned nine years old. Around the same time, Aerosmith released an album titled “Pump.” I loved the album because of the old trucks on the album cover, but I also enjoyed it […]
Dinner at Grandma’s
There is a cultural fascination with eating at grandma’s house. Foods made from scratch… with equally unhealthy doses of butter and love. The idea may strike up thoughts of holiday meals that were large enough […]