I’m in the shower when I realize that I threw my washcloth in the hamper last night. Naturally, I didn’t put one in the shower to replace it because that requires forethought… which I lack due to my being male.
JB: “Baby, can you grab me a washcloth?”
GF: *comes into the bathroom and starts searching the linen closet*
GF: “We don’t have any… I think they are all dirty. Hold on.”
GF: *she leaves the room and comes back a minute later*
GF: “Here you go…”
JB: “Sweetheart, this is a dishcloth. I am not a dish.”
GF: “…it’s all we have, we need to do laundry today.”
JB: “I AM NOT A PLATE!!!”
GF: “Sure.”
JB: “I know this because you are not in here washing me.”
GF: “I missed you… welcome back to Denver.”
My morning routine usually revolves around a string of insults followed by a string of objects thrown by the beautiful lady in my life but hey, that’s what the bullet proof vest is for!