Daylight Savings Time ended Sunday morning, which means everyone finally got that hour back that they lost last Spring…. Or is that just what “they” want us to think?
I mean, think about it: taking that hour away every spring doesn’t make sense. The first day of DST results in lower prime time TV ratings, increased traffic accidents, diminished work productivity and more suicides, heart attacks and skin cancer. All of that on the first day! (I may have skimmed Wikipedia and glossed over time periods a bit.) Why would any sane government approve this, much less maintain it as the annual status quo for over 100 years?
They wouldn’t. Not unless something else entirely is happening.
What if I told you that every American gets one extra hour, every year, that everyone agrees occurred? And yet, by March, that hour ceases to exist, erased from all memory, except by those jerks in Hawaii and Arizona? If I were Zooey Deschanel, you would fall in love with me. But I’m not, so I’ve already taken the liberty of putting on my mace goggles. (You’re welcome.)
And, yet, this is what happens, and it coincides with the equinoxes. Could it DST be a cover-up perpetrated by our own government to hide a pagan hour of what Walt Whitman termed “madness and joy?”
Yes, of course it is. What would be the fun if it wasn’t? And I know that the government’s aware of people’s tendency to go overboard because President George W. Bush officially moved it to corresponding Saturday nights/Sunday mornings. Besides, it’s not like we don’t have a mystery day in February that pops up every four years.
So, you officially have one hour — one full hour — that, in less than six months, will never be heard of again. Assuming that anything you do that night doesn’t count (except some legal considerations, although I’m sure some defense attorney is already sporting wood), what would you do?
This week update starts with many thanks to those who have donated so far. In just one week, I’ve received $75 in donations, which puts me at, what, 3 percent? Yes, 3 percent of the way towards my goal of infinity dollars.
For those of you not keeping track, you can track my progress at my Movember page, which is where I post daily updates and pictures for purely scientific purposes. You can even see what I looked like before I abandoned basic upper lip hygiene.
And, if you really want to (no pressure), you can donate to my Movember fund. 100 percent of all donations go to the Movember Foundation, which funds cancer research, awareness campaigns, and contributes to LiveStrong and the Prostate Cancer Foundation