Silliman’s Year End Sports Limericks

Lots of people have asked me (okay, make that one person, my friend, Hal Fast) why there weren’t more sports stories done in limerick form.I thought about it for a moment, then answered rhetorically “Because that would be… er… uh… stupid?” 

Then I considered it longer and asked why not? It can’t be any dumber than something else I might write, plus the year end stories are begging to be limericked.  Tiger Woods even walked by, not smiling, but somehow I read his face and his face said “Please put me in a limerick.”  It was much the same with Ndamukong Suh, not that he wanted to be in a limerick, just that he was also not smiling.

Tiger Woods won his first tournament since his 2009 sex scandal. That’s limerick worthy, isn’t it?

There was once a great golfer from Cali

Whose game had fallen off in a valley

He got a new swing

And had quite a few flings

Now, his career is starting to rally.

Ndamukong Suh had a two game suspension for what the league construes as overly rough play. Ndamukong claims all he did was smash a guy’s head in the ground three times and then stomp on him. Can you suh a man for that?

 

There was a footballer named Suh

His opponents end up black… and blue

He’s been called a face stomper

A ferocious bit chomper

The backs who survive him… are few.

 

Chris Paul has been offered as trade bait to a half dozen NBA teams but no deals. We don’t think this will play well in New Orleans.

 

Chris Paul wants to be a Hornet no more

But no team wants to give up the store

Not the Lakers, the Nets, nor the Clips

“Come on down but we haven’t the chips.

You stuck in N’awlins, where your welcome is wore.”

The Kris and Kim marriage was highly touted, short-lived, and tabloid driven. Limerick worthy?

 

They say that NBA marriages never last

But this sets the record for fast

Before the presents were open

Kim and Kris were not copin’

Happy days, wedding bells… in the past.

 

Former Texas Tech football coach, Mike Leach, landed a new job. The pirate loving Leach will be dropping anchor in Pullman, Washington for the Cougars of Washington State.

 

The Pac-12 will prepare for Coach Leach

Wide open, spread offenses he’ll teach

Unceremoniously fired from Tech

He gave them swashbuckling heck

Now, aaarrrrgubly, a fast-paced Cougar offense, he’ll preach.

 

Tim Tebow has lead the Broncos to several comeback wins and, while doing so, is often seen on the sidelines in a praying position known as “Tebowing,” an official word now in Webster’s.

 

There now is a Bronco named Tebow

Who prays to his Lord on his elbow

A position called Tebowing

Beseech the All-Knowing

Without any help from the creatures below.