The CIA reported earlier this week that the recent anniversary of Osama Bin Laden’s death may have sparked a botched bombing in Yemen involving a U.S. airliner….and a pair of booby-trapped underpants.
Apparently, these were not your garden variety brand of unmentionables.
While it’s not clear whether the undergarments in question were boxers or briefs, according to the L.A. Times it’s clear that these skivvies were intended to be an improvement over a similar pair of loaded underwear that failed to blow up in 2009.
Here’s an excerpt from the news story:
The plot involved an upgrade of the underwear bomb that failed to detonate aboard a jetliner over Detroit on Dec., 25, 2009. This new bomb was also designed to be used in a passenger’s underwear, but this time Al Qaeda developed a more refined detonation system, U.S. officials said.
The FBI is examining the latest bomb to see whether it could have passed through airport security and brought down an airplane, officials said. They said the device did not contain metal, meaning it probably could have passed through an airport metal detector. But it was not clear whether new body scanners used in many airports would have detected it.
The would-be suicide bomber, based in Yemen, had not yet picked a target or bought his plane tickets when the CIA stepped in and seized the bomb, officials said. It is not immediately clear what happened to the alleged bomber.
Luckily no one was injured in this mishap and officials have the offending undies in hand.
Ironically, it’s reported that the underpants had not been seen previously in London or France.
Which brings us to speculate on the exact nature of these weapons-grade pantaloons. Here are some random speculations I have on the possible undergarment upgrades:
1. Fruit of the Loom → Fruit of the Boom
2. BVDs → WMDs
3. Calvin Kleins → Kevlar Kleins
4. Tommy Hilfiger → Tommy Gun Hairtrigger
5. Spanx for Men → Tanks for Men
Again, luckily no one was injured or these feeble attempts at humor would not merely be unfunny – they would also be in poor taste. Regardless, the U.S. intelligence officials are hopeful that they’ll get to the bottom of this.
Question: Are there other Rated-G options to weaponize these potentially deadly drawers? What’s the next type of firepower fashion wear that Homeland Security needs to be watching for?