I understand that social media appears to be a comfort zone to many people, but lately, I have noticed that some Facebook friends have posted too many personal and private details about their lives. While the majority of these posts fall under a harmless “TMI” or Too Much information for all eyes, there are some posts that are the equivalent of walking outside and hanging a banner that says, “HERE I AM, ROB ME!” So, just as a precaution and just because I hate to see any friend become a victim of crime, allow me to run down a list of things NOT to say on Facebook and Twitter. Yes, these posts are true, but I will not divulge the identity of any friend, but you know who you are.
1. I am having surgery on (insert specific date and time here). The surgery should take about 2 1/2 hours, and the hospital is an hour away from my home, but my entire family is going to the hospital to be with me, and they have promised to stay there at my side.
How your friends react: Oh, surgery? This is scary. I am with you in spirit too and I will be looking on Facebook for updates and how you are doing. Good luck! ♥
How criminals react: Damn, she is an hour away from the hospital and that surgery sounds complicated and the family will be tied up for awhile. Let’s go pick that house clean.
2. Each morning at 7:15 I go to the gym for an hour and a half. On Mondays and Thursdays my friends and I go out for coffee afterward.
How your friends react: I am so proud of you! You are really getting fit. What a sense of commitment!
How criminals react: An hour and a half at least! We can take out the house on a coffee day. Even if we rob her on a non-coffee day, she’s probably too tired from the workout to put up much of a fight over her stuff.
3. (Caption under the picture of Chihuahua in a pink, foo foo dress) My dog could never hurt a fly. Give her a treat and she will be your buddy forever.
How your friends react: Awww! How sweet is that little pooch in her tutu skirt! Just adorable!
How criminals react: We could have that dog for breakfast. She would probably trip over the dress running after us. We can stow her in the freezer if need be. Good house to rob. ♥
4. My husband just bought me a new diamond ring for our anniversary. I can’t wait to take it out of my jewelry box to wear it. I spoiled him too and got him a big-screen TV.
How your friends react: Stop bragging, you Bitch!
How criminals react: SCORE!!! The mother lode. I love this woman! ♥♥
5. I never lock my doors. My neighborhood is so safe.
How your friends react: I am jealous of how trusting you can be and that there are still neighborhoods out there where no caution is needed.
How criminals react: What kind of lousy criminals live in this town? This woman posted a challenge and no one has responded? This is a great house to rob and how nice I won’t have to bring all my heavy break-in tools. They just weigh me down. I hope she keeps a pot of coffee brewing too!