Of all the pieces I have written for HumorOutcasts, the one that keeps getting “found” on StumbleUpon is the one about serenity pads. It’s a funny topic, but what the … ? Serenity pads? They have to be kidding.
Well, hell! If June Allyson and Whoopi Goldberg could do it, I can do it, too. The only thing is, they probably got fat fees for endorsing incontinence products. So far I haven’t gotten any fat fees, but I am getting the one thing my heart has craved since I first learned to walk, talk and make a nuisance of myself: attention.
Ooh! Attention!
Okay. What other highly personal and potentially embarassing things can I write about: girdles; jock straps; brassieres; Tampax, vaginal suppositories; toupees, speedos … oh, the possibilities!
but are June Allyson and Whoopi Goldberg truly happy?
June Allyson died in 2006, so whatever she earned for plugging Depends isn’t doing her much good right now.
I can’t speak for Whoopi Goldberg, because I never met her. Extra cash, even for doing Poise commercials, might not make a person happy, but it does make being miserable a lot easier to take.
Serenity pads sound like something to sit on while practicing yoga!
Hehe! Yes, there is great power in euphemisms.