You Just Never Know

Of all the pieces I have written for HumorOutcasts, the one that keeps getting “found” on StumbleUpon is the one about serenity pads. It’s a funny topic, but what the … ? Serenity pads? They have to be kidding.

Well, hell! If June Allyson and Whoopi Goldberg could do it, I can do it, too. The only thing is, they probably got fat fees for endorsing incontinence products. So far I haven’t gotten any fat fees, but I am getting the one thing my heart has craved since I first learned to walk, talk and make a nuisance of myself: attention.

Ooh! Attention!

Okay. What other highly personal and potentially embarassing things can I write about: girdles; jock straps; brassieres; Tampax, vaginal suppositories; toupees, speedos … oh, the possibilities!

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4 thoughts on “You Just Never Know”

    1. June Allyson died in 2006, so whatever she earned for plugging Depends isn’t doing her much good right now.

      I can’t speak for Whoopi Goldberg, because I never met her. Extra cash, even for doing Poise commercials, might not make a person happy, but it does make being miserable a lot easier to take.

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