New North Carolina Bill Protects Our Broads From Sharia Law

The North Carolina Senate has passed a new bill which bans the recognition of Islamic Sharia law. It now heads to the House for passage into law.

Bill sponsor Chris Whitmire, R-Transylvania:

“This is a very, very present threat that must be dealt with. We are making sure that the most fundamental basis on which we exist is protected. This Sharia Law ridicules homos and discriminates against them. And it’s out there harming bitches already as we speak. It makes them wear certain clothes and makes them second class citizens! Denies them basic rights that our Constitution guarantees!”

Additional freedom-restoring amendments to the bill would include a host of women’s health restrictions which would in effect shut down all but one abortion clinic in the state, in addition to the recently passed mandatory vaginal ultrasounds and requirement that an abortion-seeking woman be told that she is in the grip of Satan.

“The state has to protect itself from Muslim influence,” continued Whitmire. “Our broads need us to protect them from its misogynistic dangers.”

When asked whether the new restrictions will unfairly infringe on women’s rights, he explained that he is confident that it would only affect “dirty sluts”. “If they want to go to that one remaining clinic, they better be covered head-to-toe so nobody can see who they are!”

The bill also included an amendment which would ban the recognition of Martian Law, should it ever be determined that there is such a thing.