Shocking Report: Some Racist Idiots May Be On Twitter

In a shocking development, it has been discovered that some racist idiots may actually be using the social network Twitter and may have in fact been using the service since its inception.

The alarming evidence recently came under the notice of several perceptive news organizations shortly after Indian-American Nina Davuluri won the recent 2014 Miss America pageant earlier this week.

Miss America

“We couldn’t believe it, ” said a spokesman for CNN. “Racists were using Twitter to make tweets that were also racist. No one could have expected something like this even in our wildest dreams.”

Twitter CEO Dick Costolo was forced to address the issue in advance of what many expect to be a looming Twitter IPO. “When Twitter was created, we did not think that there were a lot of racists left in America. At least none who could figure out the very difficult task of downloading an app and then typing out somewhere between 1 and 140 characters of vitriol. It turns out that America has some pretty technologically advanced racists. This was completely unexpected and we regret that this happened.”

Even radio host Rush Limbaugh blasted the racist Twitter users. “Look people. Indians are not usually Muslims and don’t want to blow up America with bombs. That’s just silly and we need to stop this misinformation. What they do is study really hard and take all of the jobs of hardworking white Americans. Get your facts straight, people.”

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